Mother's Day Perspective

Another Mother's Day has come and gone.  I wish I could say it is an enjoyable day, but each year I struggle with it.  It's never a day that I can treat as a normal Mother's Day.  And it's all because my wife, Teresa, passed away just prior to her first Mother's Day.

I'd love to just spend the day with my mom.  She is more than deserving of the honor of having her children (me, my sister, Angie, and my brother, Darren) spend the day with her, treating her to dinner, showing her how much we love her.  But since her birthday is May 7, we often celebrate her birthday with her, but not Mother's Day.  She claims it's no big deal, and she is more than happy to have us help her celebrate her birthday.  It in no way diminishes the importance of the day for her.  I only wish we could all celebrate Mother's Day with her, as well.

My wife was an only child.  So the "pressure" to celebrate her mom on Mother's Day was all on her.  Where I could share that responsibility with my siblings, she didn't have that luxury, and I'm sure she had no problem celebrating with her mom.  Once we were married, we tried to give attention to both of our moms.  It was kind of easy since we went to the same church at the time as her parents, so we could celebrate my mother-in-law in the morning, usually followed by lunch, and then spend dinner or dessert with my mom on Sunday evening.  It was a good compromise.

We no longer go to that church, so that is not an option for us anymore.  My daughter, Melody, and I attend our church on Saturday evening, which frees us up to go out to my in-laws church on Sunday morning.  But because my wife is not longer with us, I'm responsible for making sure my mother-in-law gets honored for Mother's Day.  Please understand that I am not complaining in the least.  I love my mother-in-law and it's always a great time with her and my father-in-law.  I just miss that I am unable to spend our Mother's Day with my mom.

All that said, I am also responsible for making sure we honor and remember my wife.  My daughter has no idea what it's like to have a mother, so I try to help her figure it out.  She gets understandably sad when she realizes what she's missing, though that's not my goal in telling her.  It's just our reality.  Between Melody and my mother-in-law, I feel like I need to make sure they both have a special day, and that's not a whole lot fun for me, necessarily.

I don't mean to be an Eeyore, but Mother's Day just isn't a nice day.  All it does is remind me that I'm not married, that my daughter no longer has a mom, that my mother-in-law no longer has a daughter, and my mother doesn't get to have the kind of day she deserves.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to mom, mom-in-law, to my wife, and to all other's who are able to celebrate with a meal out and spend time with their loved ones.  Best wishes & blessings to Moms everywhere.